The Stem of All Heartbreak
by Last Moment
Summary: There is no root of all Evil – there are many roots, all leading towards different destinations. Some roots are about to blossom, and some seeds are about to sprout. -ON HIATUS-
1. Prologue

The Stem of All Heartbreak

Descr: There is no root of all Evil – there are many roots, all leading towards different destinations. Some roots are about to blossom, and some seeds are about to sprout.

Warnings: it's mainly a DeiSaku fic with other random pairings, including a sorta 4-way pairing between Naru, Sasu, Sai, and Saku (with a lot of one-sideness), a past DeiSaso (yup, Dei's bi) and other more permanent pairings later on like NaruHina (maybe – I'm not much past this yet ). There will definitely be violence though, and most likely lemons since at least 2 people get pregnant. Oh yeah, and yaoi, but some hetero couples too.

Anyways, takes place about 2 years from the start of Shippuden – after Sasuke left of course, and after Dei "died." The plot will really start next chapter though, if anyone reviews this (which I will love them for!). Anyone who critiques, rates, or reviews will be my all time fav person ever!

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Prologue/Chapter 1:

A feminine-looking man, who would kill you for such a comment, sat precariously upon a strange-looking bird, which hovered above a small city. The city appeared to be in the middle of nowhere, possibly a tradesmen's town or a market villa. The young man smirked at it, almost sneered, as he motioned the bird to fly downward.

Landing before the town, just outside of its main gate, the flier was approached by a man and a woman, both armed in civilian armor. The glares which they gave him were commanding, but the blonde sensed that they were afraid. One of the guards was shaking profoundly, while the other refused to make eye contact.

"State y-your name," the first guard ordered, acting brave in spite of her stutter. "And your re-reason for be-being here," the guard continued, maintaining a solid face. Looking at that face, the man realized something strange.

_Damn,_ he thought quite merrily. _Not only civilian guards, but blind ones?_

With a laugh, the man replied, "Name's Deidara, yeah, and you know that. I'm here, because I'm done with my mission. I want my pay, un, and I want it now."

"Have you the scroll?" the second guard asked. He was still avoiding Deidara's eyes. Deidara cocked his head, and raised a brow. "Of course I do, un. Here."

Deidara handed the guard a brown scroll, which both guards stared at for a long moment. Almost warily, the guard placed it on a ledge, while nodding towards his counterpart. _They should be nervous, _Deidara thought smugly. _That scroll, after all, is about to explode. Should make the town a pretty color – these two will soon be art. _

"My pay?" Deidara asked again, suddenly excited to see the show.

At his question, the second guard looked up, locking eyes with Deidara, viciously. "Why, of course," he smoothly stated. "We'll be paying for your jail cell."

But Deidara hadn't heard him - he'd been too surprised at what he'd seen. So surprised, he'd fallen over, onto the ground in a hysterical heap.

_TWO blind guards? _he thought while laughing._ Oh this is rich, this is great! Two blind civilians against an ex-Akatsuki, a master artist, an elite assassin! How in the world can they take me on? The world's number one -_

_"_Cocky bastard."

Wait. What?

"What did you say," he suddenly asked, all humor leaving his voice. He stood up, but it was too late. In an instant, both guards had attacked him.

_Guess they're not blind, _he thought as he dodged. _Or civilian,_ he thought as he punched. _Whoops_, he thought as he blocked. _Guess I was the blind one here._

"Deidara of the Stone," spoke the male guard (as Deidara questioned, _is he a guard?_). "You are wanted for crimes against the Leaf, the Stone, and the Sand. You are charged with murder, an attempted assassination of the Kazekage, tr –"

"But that was two years ago!" interrupted Deidara, still evading the duo's attacks. Casting him an angry look, the male continued. "Treason, theft, association with the murderous group Akatsuki –"

"So what, un? I'm guilty by association!?" barked the blonde. Fuming, the brunette continued (once more). "No, you are guilty for the various crimes which you committed while a member."

"Oh."

"You have numerous other charges against you. Will you come quietly?"

Deidara rolled his eyes. "Of course I won't, dumbass. That's why I'm fighting you right now!"

The guard turned scarlet red, and his strikes became quite quicker. He stepped back a second, as if to retreat, but instead took up a stance, and loudly said, "256 pal-"

"Neji, no!"

The girl had interrupted him, and at the same time, flipped away from Deidara. "Remember, we need him alive," she told Neji, as Deidara reached into his clay pouch. Noticing the movement, Neji snarled. "Yes, Hinata, and you just let him escape." Before they could stop him, his bird had been made, and with a smirk, Deidara was gone.

"It's been fun," he said with a grin, forming the hand signs he knew so well. The two below him looked in horror, as the brunette slightly switched his stance. "In fact, it's been a bomb!" laughed Dei, his fingers forming the last shape. "Katsu," he said maniacally, as his bird flew slightly higher.

The explosion below was beautiful – a mix of colors, sound, and heat. But in an instant, the beauty stopped, to be replaced by a pain even Deidara, a masochist, hated. "What the hell, un?!" he had time to whisper, as he saw his glorious masterpiece backfire. From the corner of his eye, he saw a white sphere – it appeared to be pushing the explosion upwards, away. Towards him.

The bird below him melted, and he felt his body burn. A horrible memory came back to his mind– that time he had almost died. That time when he had exploded, and only survived because of his Danna. It had felt a lot like this, but back then, he hadn't cared. Back then, he had wanted death.

_Not now, _the blonde thought defiantly. _I can't die so undistinguished! My art is not yet done – HIS art is not even close!_

But it seemed that the blonde would die, quite inartistically, as he descended towards the earth. So, he prepared to meet his end, regretting it had come. _Well, I guess that art is fleeting, _Dei thought sadly to himself. _I guess that life is too. One day you have it, next it's gone. _

Deidara closed his eyes, deciding that poor art did not deserve to be seen, nor to see. So when he felt hands engulf him, almost embrace him, he assumed that they belonged to some devil. He assumed that he was dead, and that he had gone to Hell, like he deserved. But in his heart, he hoped, he wished, that those hands belonged to his Danna.

_But these feel nothing like Danna's hands, _he thought, a grim expression attacking his face. _So I guess this means I'm in Hell. What a fun time this'll be._

_Then again, _he thought with new hope_, Maybe this means I'm not even dead! After all, _he started to smirk,

_I doubt that devils wear lotion._

* * *

Disclaimer: decided to put it here since I had too much already at the top. I don't own Naruto, or any characters from that show, but one day I will hehe

Wowz. This hurt my hands. I admire you veteran writers a LOT right now. So what did you think? Please tell me! I wrote a story once before and no one responded – but I kept getting hits so Idk if that's good or not – please help a fellow writer and critique so I know whether to keep on trying xx

3s LM


	2. Off To War

Warnings: more language, and a little "darkness" in this chapter - the plot's about to start, but it won't all be evident right away (though some aspects will be _incredibly _obvious). There are mini-plots within the story, which I say sorry for in advance :) Mega thanks to all who reviewed - if anyone likes this still, I'll get a beta for the next chapter - special note at the bottom!

oh yeah, almost forget - there's some spoilers from chapters 400 and above. hope that's k

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Chp 2:

In the early hours of the night, as the world began to sleep, an angry medic made her way across an eerie, dirty hallway. Her expression screamed "Back off," and all who saw her did just that. Except for an orange-clad boy, who sappily ran to the girl and embraced her.

"Sakura-cha-" he had time to yell, before the girl's fist slammed into his face. He propelled to the ground, rubbing his chin, as he glumly stated, "Ouch."

The girl turned around and continued her walk – the boy stood back up and decided to follow. "Sakura-chan..." he continued to say. "Sakura-chan. Sakura –"

"What!?"

The boy flinched at her deadly tone, causing a sudden guilt to overtake her. Her features softened, and she asked again, kinder. "What, Naruto? What do you need?"

Relieved, the boy smiled brightly. "Well, everyone said that you were being moody –"

Before he even realized it, he was back on the floor. "No wait! I didn't mean it that way!"

But Sakura wouldn't wait; she was too angry to talk with her friend. It wasn't him that had caused her rage, but she knew that Naruto would only worsen it. When she was like this, no one could stop her... well, no one on the mission, at least. Besides, she was presently busy. She had just received her assignment.

That "assignment" stood before her - a yellowing door which said "O.R.". The bloody letters made her shiver. As she grabbed the handle, a hand grabbed her. "Sakura," Naruto whispered. He had caught up to her, and he looked upset. His voice was calm, yet somehow troubled. "I was worried... is _**it**_ all right?"

Sakura blanched, her eyes forming circles. _He's not supposed to mention __**it**__ aloud_, she thought. "Yes, Naruto, _**it**_ is fine. Why would you think that _**it**_ wasn't?"

Sighing in relief, he scratched his head. "Well, after you caught Deidara, you looked kinda shaky; that combined with your sudden angry outburst... well it made Sai and I think... the worst. You kinda get mad when you're upset... and catching Deidara could be considered heavy-lifting... so we thought that, well, you know... and yeah, that made us nervous."

Sakura shook her head, hiding a snort which came out anyway – she appreciated her best friends' concern, but found it extremely amusing. "If the worst happened, you would know it – today's "outburst" wasn't related." She realized her pun, and suddenly laughed, but her smile quickly soured, and her tone turned dark. "I'm just angry at Shikamaru... he just gave me my _real_ assignment."

"I thought that he needed a medic?" questioned Naruto, looking confused. "You know, as a precaution. That's the only reason Tsunade let you come."  
"He wasn't lying... I _was_ a precaution, just in case he needed a surgeon... he's decided that he does... and he wants that surgeon to torture."

Naruto winced, shrieking, "What!?" as a dozen images suddenly hit him. "What kind of torture did he think of!?" asked the ninja, turning green.

"One that might protect us," stated Sakura, morosely. "I'm about to do it now, and I think it's irreversible."

"Well tell Shikamaru no!" Naruto shouted in defiance. "Tell him you can't do it – we can get another surgeon!"

"We're four days away from Konoha! And I am perfectly capable, just not willing."

"Well, just tell him you won't do it... You have a viable excuse to leave."

Sakura knew what he was referring to, and she furrowed her brow in rage. She refused to even consider _**it**_. _**It**_ was not an excuse, and she refused to say different.

"No, Naruto," she stated firmly. "I'm going to do this; the guy deserves it. After what he's done to you, what he did to Gaara... It needs to be done, so I might as well be the one."

Naruto sighed, but knew she was right. "Well I'll come too, as moral support." He squeezed her shoulder, and she nodded, feeling grateful. It felt better to not be alone.

With that thought, she opened the doors, preparing herself for the worst.

* * *

She got it.

"What the F--!?" she heard someone scream. The voice was low, and filled with fury. It came from a man, tied to a gurney, thrashing around like a fish out of water.

"Let me out!" the man continued, squirming as much as the chains would allow. "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!? Somebody better start explaining, un!"

The man had awoken in a strange room, to two faces he somewhat remembered. Neither would answer him, nor even acknowledge him. And that, more than anything, enraged him.

"When a guy blacks out," he began with a snarl, "its common decency to tell him what he's missed." But neither of them would speak. They wouldn't even look his way.

They did, however, look towards the doors, as they suddenly opened to reveal two new ninja. One had blond hair, and the other... pink!? In an instant, he recognized the girl.

_That's – that's her! _he mentally screamed. _The girl who killed Danna. The bitch! The bitch!_

_Guess he just woke up,_ thought Sakura dryly. _Good planning Shikamaru... you're some sorta "genius."_

Said "genius" was in the room - a joyful Kankuro stood at his side. The duo waved as the other two entered. Kankuro grinned at Sakura, and merrily (too much so, under the circumstances) said "Hi." Shikamaru, instead, looked at Naruto, and asked indifferently, "Why are you here?"

"Moral support," he answered, shrugging. "Whatever," replied Shikamaru.

"Hello, un!? Still in the room!" shouted their aggravated detainee. The four turned to look at him, and then looked back at each other. Deidara's eyes bugged out of his skull. A stream of obscenities poured from his lips, reminding Shikamaru of another Akatsuki he'd met. "Fine, we'll answer you," he muttered warily, wondering if all Akatsuki had that vocabulary.

"Finally!" Deidara exclaimed. He settled down in his chair with a 'thump!' "First of all, where am I, un, and second of all, why am I here?"

"You're in a hospital," stated Sakura, a line she'd said countless times. About to continue, she realized she couldn't – the glare he was sending her killed all of her words.

"Not. You." he stated icily, shocking Sakura with his hate. She turned towards Shikamaru, looking surprised, wondering, _What did I do to this guy?_

Shikamaru took the hint, and continued her explanation. "We're in the town of Okawa, where you were trying to deliver a scroll," he said. "You were apprehended when you fell from your bird. Our team of hidden ninja jumped out and caught you. Why are you here? Well, it's a long list... you've been arrested, but there's more to it."

"Huh?" asked Deidara, dumbfounded.

"Basically, you've been drafted."

* * *

Well this was gonna be longer but I figure I can just add the rest as another chapter if this one comes out likable XD  
Anyways, next chapter has the torture thing, but it's not what you're thinking (I couldn't hurt Dei like that!) and there's also some other surprises (once again, not what you're thinking lol)

Anyways, thanks to my 3 reviewers!

AnkhIsis: ha definitely pre-shippuden. But shes got her good side when shes not going crazy... and talking to herself... and chasing Sasuke... etc.  
black55widow: glad you liked it - i just hope the story won't be fleeting too... and temporary, or however that saying goes XD  
Manyara: thanks! - I'm about to go check out urs!

reviews and critique are greatly loved and make me write faster!

--LM--


	3. Nooses of Chakra

Hello everyone! Just thought I'd thank you again and then post another note at the bottom (since the second note's kinda pointless XD). Also, the questions that people have been asking (such as what's **_it_** and where is Okawa) will be answered soon, so I'm going to be evil and not answer yet hehe

Anyways... here you are!

Warnings: All the same stuff as before

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Chapter 3: Nooses of Chakra

When no reaction seems appropriate, most people tend to laugh. Whether stressed, humored, or disbelieving, a laugh will often escape them. Some people laugh in church, while others laugh at funerals. And some people, such as Deidara, will laugh in the face of danger. Such people will also laugh at the most inopportune of times. On what would later be called Day One, Deidara made this mistake.

He had just been given a mission, a mission for the enemy. "There are other reasons we caught you," Shikamaru had bluntly said. "We know you're a renegade Akatsuki – we know that they kill deserters. But we also know that they're recruiting, and if they don't kill you, that they'll want you."

So of course, Deidara had laughed; he laughed his body dry. "So you want me as a spy, yeah?" he managed to choke through his glee. "You really think I'd help you!? That I'd risk my life for the enemy?"

"When everyone's your enemy, you really have no choice; but here's your ultimatum – help us, or be executed." "You have many charges against you," Kankuro pointed out. "If we bring you to Suna now, there's no doubt that you'll be murdered."

"What difference does it make?" Deidara scoffed, still slightly laughing. He felt like he'd gone crazy – he'd been saved so he could die? "I can't just crawl back to them saying "Guys, I've changed my mind." That's not how Akatsuki works, especially since they don't know I'm alive! And I don't even know where the base is, un! After two years, they must have changed it, and -" Deidara stopped his rant as he was smacked by realization. "Wait," he ordered warily, the gears grinding in his brain. "That trap you set for me was planned... which means that you expected me... why would you expect me if you thought that I was dead?"

"You knew I was alive?"

Four heads nodded slowly, confirming Deidara's fear. "But how, un? I was so careful..."

"But your fighting style is so unique – all those villages you bombed were a pretty obvious hint; they may have been small, and in the middle-of-nowhere, but when a large amount suddenly disappears, word gets around."

Deidara smirked dejectedly. "I guess I wasn't careful enough – these last two years, I've been hiding, taking missions at remote villages for money." "We figured as much," interjected Kankuro, motioning Deidara to continue. "Once paid, I'd blow up the towns," he said. "Just in case someone there had recognized me. That way, I could stay "dead," and none of you would come after me... Yeah, that worked well, didn't it, un? Now you know, and soon, so will Akatsuki. So even if you let me go, Akatsuki will come after me; they'll find me, and I'll be killed, or possibly, reinstated."

"The ladder option is more likely if you decide to help us out. We already have a spy on the inside, and he can put in a good word for your "application" – "

"But if you already have a spy, then why do you need me?"

Shikamaru shrugged, before replying, "You don't need to know that now."

"Huh," Deidara snorted. "I think you'd better tell me."

"You're not in a position to give orders - you're in a position to take them."

"Yeah? Well that's too bad, un!" Deidara growled, feeling loathsome. "I'd rather take my chances in Suna. And with these," he lifted his hands, "I think I just might make it. And even if I don't, I'll at least take some of you with me."

Wincing, Sakura asked, "Did you forget that we took your clay pouch?" Deidara refused to look at her, but she continued speaking anyway. "Without that, you're completely powerless; you're chance of escaping is next to none."

"Huh, that's what you'd think, but don't forget that I've been training, un. My clay bombs may be my best work, but I still can use other substances."

_So Shikamaru was right, _Sakura morbidly thought. _Which means... I'll have to do it. Let the torture begin. _

"Well, if that's the case, I guess we have only one option; we'll have to take those mouths away, for the protection of our squad."

Deidara didn't even flinch, but rather answered to the room, "Funny, but I know you can't. In all rights, I'm a prisoner of war. You can't mangle a POW; you can't harm my hands in any way."

"No, but we can bind them; that'll only hurt your pride."

Deidara quietly snickered. "I'd like to see you try; they can bite through any material, even these chains if I wanted. I'm just letting them rest awhile, and then I'll gladly show you."

"I'm sure they can't bite through this though," Kankuro sneered, lifting a finger. A beam of chakra shot through his nail, connecting to Deidara's hand. "A chakra string," mumbled Deidara. "Haven't seen one of those in a while... yeah, now I remember. You're that other puppeteer..."

"Took you long enough," Kankuro guffawed. "Kinda funny you forgot me since I can't seem to forget you. I'm not one to hold a grudge, but in this case, I think one's called for. I get to help take away your art skills; that's a pretty good start I think."

"What - what are you talking about?" Deidara queried, suddenly lost. Kankuro didn't respond; instead he turned to Sakura. "Your turn," he announced joyfully, before unleashing several more strings. "For what, un!?" Deidara panicked, showing a rare lapse in his surety.

Sakura was wearing a medic bag from which she took out a needle. Next, she took out a scalpel, and a small, strange pair of pliers. Placing each on a table behind her, she turned to look at Deidara.

"Don't worry. This won't hurt."

_At least in the physical sense._

* * *

It had been a quiet day in the Mist Village, indifferent from most any other. The townsfolk shopped, they communicated, and towards night, they parted ways. No one there was even aware of the current happenings in Okawa. They wouldn't know until the next morning, when a letter arrived to their leader.

Their leader had been in his room, monotonously sifting through some papers. A knock sounded at his door, and shortly after, a blue-skinned man opened it. "Madara," the fish-man said. "I need to talk to you - it's important. Our Konoha agent sent this letter - our code breakers can't seem to read it."

Madara wasn't surprised. His code breakers were not that skilled; he, on the other hand, was. "Let me see it, Kisame," Madara ordered.

Madara read through it very carefully, remarking "Well, this is interesting. Summon the others here immediately - it seems we have some things to discuss."

Kisame nodded and approached the door, but before leaving, asked "What exactly?"

"Deidara," Madara answered. "It appears the key survived."

* * *

Note: this part was more of a continuation of Chapter 2 than an actual chp 3 (Sorry!) but i figured I'd tie up some loose ends while giving you more things to think about at the same time XD - don't worry, though. I have this story written out - right now, it might be kinda like Lost where each new chapter answers a question while presenting another, but everything wraps up eventually!

O yeah i almost 4got - I'm still searching for a Beta, because I 4got 2 look 4 one... oops XD - so if any1 has advice I'm more than willing to hear it! Thanks!

--LM--

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	4. The Past

Okay, so I figured I'd update this one a lil early since the last chapter wasn't really a chapter XD And also for that reason, I made this one somewhat longer.

Anyways, please review! If you don't, Deidara will be sad :(

Chapter 4: The Past

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Normally, Sakura appreciated quiet. She scarcely had the virtue of silence, being that her friends didn't seem to know what it was. But a mute Naruto was never a good thing; he was only quiet when something was wrong. So on the morning of Day Two, while in Okawa Town Square, Sakura felt the need to ask, "Why are you acting so weird?"

Naruto jolted, dropping the bag he had been packing. "Because I always do?" he confusedly answered.

"Yeah, but this is weird _for you_. You're being so... nontalking."

"Good word," Naruto mused. His face fell as he somberly said, "I guess it's just the memories; this mission is reminding me about... that day."

Sakura smiled sadly, as she lowered a hand to her stomach. "Yeah, I know what you mean. It's all so similar... it's kinda freaky. I'm just waiting for it all to happen again, for him to come out screaming "Attack!"" Inwardly, Sakura sighed, because she half-hoped it _would_ happen.

"I told you, I won't let it," Naruto stated, somewhat coldly. "There was nothing I could do last time, but there's no way I'll let it happen again!"

Sakura waited for his speech, the one which Naruto always gave, the one which they called his "promise of a lifetime speech," but oddly, it never came. This worried Sakura more than it should have, and she peered at her best friend sadly. Ever since that horrible day, a part of Naruto had been missing.

"Yeah, I know," Sakura lied, hoping that he would believe her. But he didn't seem to believe anything anymore...

_Stop thinking that way! _she scolded herself.

"Naruto, Sasuke's gone," she attempted to assure her friend. "He can't betray us anymore; this time, we get to betray him."

Naruto didn't respond, and Naruto didn't smile. Naruto didn't care, or maybe he didn't want to do what she had suggested. Deep down, Sakura knew the answer, and deep down, she felt the same way.

The mission had already started, but she wouldn't be able to finish it.

* * *

"Which is why we need you."

As Sakura and Naruto conversed in Okawa Town Square, another conversation was taking place in the Okawa O.R. room. Deidara still lay on the gurney, still looking crazed, and ready to kill. Shikamaru loomed over him, explaining the situation.

But to Deidara, it made no sense. "Why do you Konoha ninja have such complex plans?"

Shikamaru smirked, quipping "Hey, they tend to work."

"So let me get this straight," said Deidara, slightly smiling. "You don't really need a spy – you need an assassin, yeah?"

"We need someone to kill Sasuke, because we know that Sakura can't." That answer hit home for Deidara, and brought back the strangest memory. One from several years ago, when he had first become an Akatsuki. The first time he'd been sent to kill a traitor, to kill him in cold blood.

_"And why are you so nervous?" Sasori had inquired. _

_Deidara, slightly embarrassed, had responded "I'm not, Danna..."_

_"Why are you lying, brat?"  
"Danna! I'm not lying!"_

_Sasori was growing impatient. "Deidara, don't make me ask you ag – "_

_"Fine Sasori! Fine, un! ... " His voice began to weaken. "It's my first time, yeah? That can make anyone nervous." _

_"I don't remember being nervous," Sasori remarked irritably. _

_Deidara didn't retort. Instead, he asked, "Who was your first, Danna?"_

_Sasori didn't respond – their target had just come into the entrance. Sasori glanced at his partner, silently saying, "Do it."_

_But Deidara wouldn't comply – he stayed hidden, frozen to the ledge. The look on his face was rebellious – Danna couldn't make him do everything._

_Sasori seemed to realize this, for he jumped down from the enclosure instead. With an impassive face, and no emotion, Sasori did the deed himself. The man was dead within an instant, before Deidara even realized how it had been killed. Sasori bent over the dead body, scrutinizing the face._

_Deidara jumped down to join him, in awe of his Danna's brutality. Something about it intrigued him. "Danna, how did you do that, un?" _

_"Do what, brat?" he asked evenly._

_"Kill him without even caring?" _

_Sasori looked towards Deidara. "Want me to teach you, brat?"_

_Yes, Danna, yes._

"You hate Sakura right?"

The question snapped Deidara from his memory; it was replaced by another memory, one of the pink-haired girl slaughtering his Danna. Deidara looked at his hands. The mouths were hidden under a web of chakra string. "Hate doesn't even describe it," he answered in a monotone.

"Well, think of this as a chance to hurt her, a chance to get her back."

That caught Deidara's attention. "By killing someone she loves." Yes, he knew that feeling. He knew it was worse than dying.

"Exactly, because she can't kill him – she may know this, but she won't admit it."  
"She thinks that we're sending you as a "gift" so that the Akatsuki will accept her. Once accepted, she's supposed to kill Sasuke, because we know he won't fight back. But we also know she won't kill him, so that will be your job."

It was starting to make sense, but "How can I kill him without my hands, un?"

"Accept this mission, and you'll get them back. So, have you changed your mind?"

Deidara thought it over. "For now... yeah, I'll help." Shikamaru smirked, already knowing the bomber would. He wordlessly left the room, leaving a vividly glowing Deidara.

_This may be my chance_, Deidara thought estatically. _To get back everything I've lost, and to get back at everyone!!  
_

To get back at the man who had tried to kill him. To get his revenge against the organization that had abused him. To "repay" the girl who had stolen everything. To confront the best friend who had betrayed him.

* * *

"Madara should be here soon."

It can be awkward to hold group meetings when the group is situated at a table; no one can clearly see everyone else, nor immediately distinguish who is talking. And of course, there is always a fight over who gets to sit where. In Akatsuki headquarters, early on the morning of Day 2, this issue became very apparent. As the group began to discuss a very important matter, Karin and Suigestu were discussing an important matter of their own.

"I get to sit next to Sasuke-kun!" bellowed Karin, swiping the chair. "No way!" shouted Suigestu. "I'm not sitting between Juugo and that fish!" At being addressed, the two turned; Juugo's face remained impassive. Kisame, however, grinned. "It might not be the best idea."

"See!" Suigestu attested. "I won't try to steal _Sasuke-kun_ from you or anything! Oh wait, that Leaf girl already did! So why don't you just – "

"Stop."

The voice was low, and came from Juugo. It spoke a thousand threats. "I'll sit next to Sasuke," he stated. "Karin, sit next to Kisame. And Suigetsu, sit between us."

"Ew!" Karin cried, casting a nasty look at Kisame. "I have to sit next to him?!" Laughter exploded from Kisame's right. A plantlike man called Zetsu was grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Look's like you're not that popular Kisame?" the black side of Zetsu cooed. "But we still like you," declared his white side, his face filling with compassion.

"All right, that's enough!"

The voice made everyone flinch. It was feminine, but powerful, and came from a blue-haired woman. "Thank you, Konan," stated Pein, his rinnegan eyes moving maliciously. The blue-haired woman nodded, contentedly sitting beside him. "Sasuke, control your associates," Pein advised to the man across from him. The sharingan wielder muttered, "Hn," but gave no affirmative response, for at that moment, Madara walked in, and all heads turned to see him. He sat at the head of the table, between a serious Pein and a brooding Sasuke.

"Thank you all for arriving so promptly," greeted Madara, as he sat down. "I believe you know why you're here – our weekly message arrived today."

Sasuke's face seemed to jump, but no one saw, minus Madara of course. He continued his practiced speech, however, pretending not to notice. "The message today was different; it seems our spy was on a mission. And on this mission, she spotted someone interesting... someone we all thought was dead..."

* * *

As Madara began his debriefing, the Konoha ninja were finishing theirs. Several bags were scattered on the ground, packed with essentials for a long trip. Konoha was four days away and Suna was nearly seven. But they weren't headed towards either village; they were headed towards the Mist.

"So we'll head towards the West Valley today, maybe a little farther if we don't meet any problems." The group nodded at Shikamaru's orders, as Deidara pretended to sulk. Sakura eyed him strangely, wondering how Shikamaru had changed Deidara's mind. Apparently, he had decided to be their spy, for without his hands, he had no chance in Suna. _But without those hands, _she thought perplexed, _he has even less of a chance in Akatsuki. Why would they want someone who can't fight?... Shikamaru's plan isn't making sense!_

But she knew it would in the long run; chances were she just didn't know the whole plan. Shikamaru was clever that way, revealing the whole story at just the right time.

"Is everybody ready?" Shikamaru asked. A round of "yes"s answered him, and the ninja were on their way. They formed a mini-parade - he and Hinata took the lead. Neji brought up the rear, scanning every direction for enemies (other than Deidara). Deidara was in front of him, standing between a beaming Kankuro and a shaky Naruto. Sakura was behind them, and Sai was on her right.

The two were holding hands, almost embracing at the fingers. Sakura's other hand was on Naruto's shoulder, futilely attempting to steady him. "It's not going to happen, Naruto," she claimed, attempting to soothe her friend. "Actually, you don't know that," bluntly stated Sai.

Sakura smacked her head, squeezing Sai's fingers harder, attempting to break them. He winced, and she felt fulfilled, as she went back to consoling her friend.

"Naruto, the chances are slim," she assured him, hoping that they were. "And worrying about it won't help - just try not to think about him."

_What a hypocrite, _Deidara thought, knowing full-well that her thoughts were on Sasuke. As if someone had heard him thinking, his chakra-chains suddenly tightened.

"Ouch, un," he screamed angrily. "You don't need to make them so tight!"

"I know, _un_," responded Kankuro. "But I'm trying to give the kid something to think about."

The statement caught Naruto's attention, and he openly scowled at Kankuro. "Hey!" he shouted annoyed. "I am _not _a kid!"

"Sure you aren't, shorty," Kankuro unwisely challenged. Naruto growled loudly, preparing to win this battle.

_At least he's being distracted, _Sakura dully thought. _Now, something to distract me..._ she couldn't think of anything. At a loss, she chose to heal Sai, and began pumping chakra to his injured hand. "When we stop walking, I'll be able to fix it more proficiently."

_If we're not attacked before then. _

She couldn't help the thought from coming, but was angry when it came, because as much as she wished otherwise, she knew that Naruto was right. She and the others were in a clearing, and could be spotted far too easily. And if the wrong group happened to see them...

That thought she wouldn't allow.

So she thought of other things, or at least, that is, she tried. But nothing could erase the evident distress inside of her. Until, that is, Sai noticed it, and decided to try and heal it with a compliment.

"Your range of healing skills," Sai began, "Is nearly as wide as your forehead."

Abruptly, Sai's hand was re-broken, and Sakura's fear had vanished. Now, she was just mad, and began to take part in Naruto and Kankuro's fray.

And as he watched the scene around him, Deidara wondered what would happen next. But far more importantly, he wondered,

_What are these leaf ninja on?_

* * *

So, reviews?comments?hate mail? XD

and yeah sry about that last line, but when I showed this story to my friend, that was the first thing she said. lmao

so quick question - should i make the chapters this long, or as long as i've been making them? let me know what you think please! and if you have any guesses as to some of the things i've hinted, feel free to share!

--LM--


	5. Secrets: Part I

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! (or at least it should be when I post this)  
here's ur 4th of july gift - sorry, its nonreturnable, cuz the limey scene in this 1 will scar u forever. Cuz I sucky at the sex (ha, pun again)  
Thanks for the reviews and alerts! and have a great holiday! anyhoo...

* * *

Chapter 5 – Secrets

Night had descended over the massive Western Valley, shrouding the newly arrived inhabitants with a foreboding sense of darkness. The group had found a cave in which they planned to spend the night. Tomorrow, they'd head to Lake Mointer, which was quite a distance away. They would desperately need their sleep, but didn't expect to get any.

"So who wants to take the first watch?" Kankuro asked the others. No one expressed any desire, but he hadn't expected them to. "I set up a list already," Shikamaru yawned indignantly. "We'll be doing this in twos and threes – Sakura and Sai, you're first."

"Wonderful," Sai announced, fake smile adorning his face. Sakura grimaced, crossing her arms. "Why do we go first?"

Shikamaru looked at her dumbly. "Because it's the shortest watch. If you don't think that you're up to it –"

"That's not what I meant at all."

Shikamaru knew what she meant – she had known it was the shortest watch. Her question was really a statement – "You don't need to treat me special."

"It's best if you get enough sleep," Shikamaru answered simply. "I realize you hate feeling weak, which is the only reason I'm letting you stay awake at all."

Sakura felt like she'd been smacked, and felt like returning the blow, but she'd hit enough people today, and besides, he had a point. In her condition, sleep was needed, whether or not she wanted it. "Fine," she answered coolly, hiding the anger beneath her skin. Deidara and Kankuro stared confusedly – there was something the Leaf ninja were hiding. "Who has second watch?" Sakura suddenly questioned.

"Naruto, Kankuro, and Deidara. Wake them in an hour."

"Wait a minute," Deidara cut in. "I never agreed to that, un." Shikamaru muttered "Troublesome," but otherwise ignored him. But strangely, this did not anger him, or at least did not outwardly seem to. The rock ninja merely sighed, before suggesting they enter the cave.

Only Sai and Sakura remained after waving "good-night" to the others. "You realize," Sai remarked, "That we can not stop any one if they choose to attack us?"

"Yeah," admitted Sakura, too tired to defend her strength, "But Shikamaru knows what he's doing. I think he might want us to get caught. Think about the next group – Naruto, Deidara, and Kankuro. Deidara won't help in a fight, and Naruto's too unhinged to. So that means Kankuro will be left on his own if someone decides to attack them."

"If he's not busy stopping Deidara from assisting them."

Sakura lay down on the grass and Sai decided to follow her. There was no point in staying alert because he was sure of Sakura's theory. She placed her arms around him as they stared up to the sky. She softly kissed his cheek, and he returned it with one of his own. A peaceful silence greeted them, but it did not stay for long.

"Sakura, am I being used?"

Sakura slightly jumped, hoping she had heard him wrong. "Why would you think that, Sai?" she asked him in fake calmness.

The answer was curt and empty. "Because I've been used before."

"Sai..." she said surprised. "This is a relationship, not ROOT."

A flicker of emotion showed in him. "Then why do they feel the same?"

For a moment, they didn't speak - that in itself was an answer. "Sai..." she suddenly said. "Do you want me to show you my feelings?"

"Only if they are real," he answered stiffly, unsure if they would be. He felt her move on top of him, almost too quickly to not be strategic. Her gaze fell on his lips, and she lowered her head above them. "This is how I feel," she told them, as they touched.

The touch turned into a kiss, and the kiss was bright with passion. It was slow and sweet at first, but heated to something more. Her tongue shot from her lips, sensually entering Sai's stunned mouth. No battle was fought for dominance.

Sai wanted her to be there.

Her hands trailed down his body, caressing every inch. They fell across his shirt, and in her lust, she tore it apart. Sai did not address this, though his tactless self desired to, for at the moment he desired affection, or at least the fake kind that she was offering.

It had almost been three months since she had come to him in tears. Nearly ninety days had passed during which they had been "lovers." They had formed a silent agreement that their "love" would stay platonic - Sai had broken it with his question, and the result now lay atop him, working its lips to the top of his waist.

Far past the realm of thought, Sakura grasped Sai's bulging pants. Stunned, he watched her remove them, so erotically he thought she was serious. But this ploy was much the same as everything else around them. The sadness that cruel awakening brought was promptly vanished by her next action.

Looking him straight in the eyes, Sakura removed the rest of his clothing. Her hand slid towards his cock, which she grasped with both her hands. Never once did she look away as her mouth fell upon his sex; its hard and wanting presence greatly contrasted his stoic expression. She swirled her tongue around the head, and his body began to take over.

Though he did not whisper her name, she could tell that he was trying. The euphoric sensations he was now experiencing were overwhelming in their power. For the first time, he felt raw, and he felt like he could _feel._ He felt what Sakura had tried to show him; she had shown Sai a glimpse of love.

And Sakura truly did feel love. Only, it wasn't for Sai.

But she had to keep up appearances; she had to keep the lie alive.

* * *

The cave which served as a tent was shaped to look like one too. It was cramped, damp, and musky, so the scent of sex fit right in. Thus, an hour later, when Sai and Sakura stepped inside, the aroma did not awake the others. Unfortunately, to their dismay, neither did anything else.

"...Wake up..."

"...Later."

"Now, Naruto."

"...Later."

Sakura was in no mood to continue the riveting debate. She instead turned to Kankuro, who of course, was also asleep.

"...Kankuro..." she called gently, prodding his back with the tip of her foot. He muttered something unintelligible, before rolling over onto his side.

"What?" he asked her tiredly, not even bothering to open his eyes.

"It's your turn for the watch," answered Sakura, annoyed. Kankuro opened one eye, before shrewdly replying, "Later." He rolled back to his other side before Sakura could kick him.

"I guess we'll be staying awake a little longer," Sai stated nonchalantly. "Unless, you want me to watch alone? Some beauty sleep may benefit you."

Sakura exhaled loudly, shaking her head in disbelief. She let his comment slide, realizing it wasn't an outright insult. "You shouldn't stay awake alone - I can make it a little longer."

"You can, but you should not."

"Yeah, but it looks like I have to!"

Exhaustion was driving Sakura to ire. Her common sense was leaving her faster than she could run. Perhaps that is why the next suggestion she thought of seemed so smart. The suggestion which stemmed from the words:

"You know, I'm still awake un."

* * *

Once again, happy 4th! And don't kill me for only giving Deidara a cameo in this chapter! The next one's all about him though... and after that, finally DeixSaku begins

Review and get a... flag? Idk, something patriotic XD

Well, Deidara's getting fireworks. Mayb u can join him!

* * *


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